To Where You Are
by froggirl80
Summary: Danny deals with his dad's death and feels old wounds open.
1. Shock and Sadness

To where you are

_Danny deals with is his dad's untimely death and feels old wounds open up. _

_Author's note: I do not own the characters from Las Vegas or the song, "To where you are."_

**_Who can say for certain  
Maybe you're still here  
I feel you all around me  
Your memory's so clear Who can say_** for certain  
Maybe Who can say for certain

Danny stood in the middle of the casino, in a state of shock.

"Your dad's been in accident," Those words sent him into a state of confusion.

Danny processed the information and asked the logical question. "Is he ok? What hospital is he at?"

"Your dad died." Those words sent him into a state of shock.

"I'm sorry," Those words didn't do anything, didn't bring comfort, and didn't bring assistance. All they brought was…..pain and sadness.

Danny stood in the middle of the casino, slowing feeling the shock turn into pain and sadness.

Danny slowly walked out of the casino. As he passed by, casino co-workers and regulars saw him and said, hi. Danny didn't respond, he was in too much shock. He couldn't speak, he couldn't do anything. He felt like a piece of steel, unable to move. He found himself at the entrance of the hotel. Without a word, he walked out of the hotel and walked down the hotel strip. Danny didn't know where he was going he just walked. He walked and walked until he was at the end of the strip. On the end was a bench. Wanting to rest his feet, Danny sat down. He pondered the news he had been told, "Your dad died." Danny couldn't believe what he had heard. He couldn't believe that his dad had died, he was gone and Danny hadn't said good-bye. Danny didn't tell his dad all the things he wanted to, he never thanked him for being a great father, even when he didn't deserve it. Danny hadn't been the greatest son, he got into trouble a lot as a boy and a teenager, smoking cigarettes or cutting classes or trying to get into a club with a fake id. Danny caused his dad a lot of headache, and he so wanted to apologize for causing him pain, he didn't want his dad to feel any more pain, he had had enough to last him a lifetime. Danny's mother had died years earlier after a long, painful battle with leukemia. Danny remembered the pain he felt when he heard his mom had died.

"_She went to heaven, sweetie," his grandmother said, tears forming in her eyes. _

_Danny, a boy of six, asked, "Is she coming back?"_

His grandmother pulled him into her lap for a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. She's not coming back."

_Danny began to cry. Danny just sat in his grandma's lap and cried his eyes out. He cried and cried. He wanted so badly for his mommy to come back. He loved his mommy so much. _

**Fly me up  
To where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile  
To know you're there  
**

Even now, Danny missed her, although he never admitted to anyone not even his dad. Danny sat on the bench and looked up into the sky. He remembered doing that when he was kid. He thought that if he looked close enough he would see his mommy. After the funeral, Danny would spend his time lying on the grass, staring up at the sky, trying so hard to see his mom. Danny wanted to see his mom's beautiful face, her sweet smile that always comforted him. Even now, after all this time, Danny missed her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see her so she could comfort him in his loss. He wanted to feel her protective arms around him, giving him support and love. Danny just sat on the bench and breathed, "I miss you, Mom. Why aren't you here when I need you?" He closed his eyes and felt a tear come down. He wiped it away quickly and got up to go home.


	2. Warm Water

Danny walked down the strip and hopped into his black and yellow Camaro car and drove home. As upset as he was, Danny needed to focus on the road, he didn't want to get in an accident. Danny was glad that he only lived 10 minutes from the casino. As soon as he turned into the garage and parked the car, he felt that shock again. Well, now, it was sadness and pain. Danny felt that when he saw the empty Coors Beer boxes. Danny walked over and picked up a box and fingered it. That was his dad's favorite beer. As long as Danny could remember, his dad drank that beer. Danny laughed as he remembered a story that his dad told him about that beer. See, after Danny's parents, Larry and Leigh Anne were married and had their honeymoon in Mexico where the restaurant served Coors. Apparently, Leigh Anne had never had a Coors and she liked it….a lot. Several Coors…….and three months later, Leigh Anne found out she was pregnant with Danny. So, Larry started a tradition on Danny's 21st birthday; they drank the beer. Danny smiled and then, felt sad. His birthday would never be the same. Despite whatever problems they had, they always made time to celebrate things together. Danny felt tears well up in his eyes but blinked them away. He threw the box to the side and went into the house.

Danny walked into his bathroom and removed his suit, dress shirt, and tie. He stepped into the shower to wash off all the heavy cigarette and cigar smoke from the casino. He stepped into the shower and turned on shower. He just stood there and let the warm water come own his body. For some reason, Danny took a lot of comfort in the water. There was something about the warm water that made him comfortable. He didn't know what it was and he didn't even bother to think about it. Danny looked in the shower mirror and saw that he had developed a five o'clock shadow so he decided to shave. He applied the shaving cream and began to shave. As he was taking a stroke, he cut himself.

"Ow!" he cried in pain, quickly placing a finger over the bleeding cut. Danny absolutely hated cutting himself shaving. As he pressed the cut to stop the bleeding, Danny had a memory. It was a memory that explained why he felt comfort in the water. It was a memory that he never had before.

_It was at his childhood home in Las Vegas. It was a modest house located about 10 minutes from the famous Vegas strip with three bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, a nice size backyard, and a nice porch that had a porch swing where Larry and Leigh Anne would sit and look at the horizon. Larry and Leigh Anne were sitting on the porch, holding their newborn baby, Danny. He was just a few days old. The proud parents marveled at the little baby, he was so beautiful and healthy, all ten fingers and ten toes. A cute nose like his daddy, a sweet smile like his mommy. He was simply the most beautiful little baby they had ever seen. And they were so grateful for him. _

"_I can't believe we have our little baby, here at our home," Leigh Anne said. "It's a miracle, Larry."_

_Larry smiled warmly and said, "Yes, it is." Larry gently kissed the top of Danny's head and then, kissed Leigh Anne's lips. Then, the two looked down at their son. _

"_You know, I say we give our son his first bath in his new house," said Larry. "Whatcha say, Mommy?"_

_Leigh Anne smiled and laughed and said, "I say yes, Daddy."_

_A few minutes later, after Larry gathered up the bath bubbles and Leigh Anne filled up the little baby tub and checked to make sure the water was warm enough, the parents were about to put their little boy in the tub but Danny didn't want to go in. He began to cry…hard._

"_Awwww, my sweet boy, don't cry," smoothed Leigh Anne, placing him against her shoulder. "Awwww don't cry, you poor thing." She rubbed his back and he seemed to ease the crying. However, Danny didn't stop entirely so Leigh Anne said, "Awwww, my little boy, don't worry, it's okay." She went ahead and put Danny in the water. Tenderly, Leigh Anne held her son and Larry cupped the warm water with his hands and gently wet the baby with it. As soon as the water came upon his skin, the baby began to calm down. He cooed and giggled and even smiled. Leigh Anne and Larry breathed a side of relief, happy that baby Danny was calmed. _

Danny stood in the shower, letting the warm water come down. Now, he realized why he felt comfort in the water. It had eased his crying and pain. It was a good metaphor for the present situation he was in; he was feeling pain and need his own version warm water to calm him, what he needed was his parents to calm him. And they weren't there. They were….. "Dead," he whispered. As soon as he said that word, the realization that both his mom and dad were gone hit him….hard. Something inside him broke. He turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his body and sat on the bed and cried. He allowed himself to cry and grieve. He allowed himself to let go of all the pain and sadness that was inside him and cry. He cried for his loss and cried for the fact that his parents, the two people who loved him more than anything were gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.


	3. The Beginning of the End

The Beginning of the End

Danny sat on the bed and cried for about a half hour. That was the longest he hard cried in a long time. But it felt good in a weird way. It felt good to allow himself to let go of the grief and pain that he was feeling inside. Danny got up and washed his face and changed into more comfortable clothes; jeans and an olive green T-shirt. He brushed his brown hair and sat down in his living room with a beer in hand. He just sat down and thought about his dad. Larry was a great guy. He was a hard worker, owning a landscaping business, overseeing work sites and many employees. All the employees and costumers said that Larry always took the time to work out whatever problems they had and always did it with a smile. He was extremely patient whenever situations rose up and rarely raised his voice. Aside from being a great worker, he was a great father. Danny sat back in his large leather chair and though about how great of a dad Larry was despite the circumstances. After Leigh Anne's death, Larry was thrown in a difficult position. Larry was the breadwinner and Leigh Anne gave up her career as a music teacher and became a stay-at-home mother. Larry needed to work long hours in order to provide for his little family. Larry would already be at work by the time Danny went to preschool and come home late in the evening. Also, he did a lot of work on the weekends so Danny didn't see his dad a while lot. However, after Danny's fifth birthday, work took a back seat to other matters. Leigh Anne had been feeling more tired than usual so she went for what she thought was a routine checkup. However, the doctor gave her some grim news; she had been diagnosed with leukemia, cancer of the blood. Danny sat back and pulled his knees to his chest as he remembered the way his parents took the news. Danny was only five and dealing with starting kindergarten in a new school where he didn't know anybody, except Mary, his best friend and co-worker at the casino. Danny was playing soccer with her in the backyard and he walked in to go to the bathroom. As he finished doing his business and washing his hands, he heard his mom crying. He tiptoed as close to the kitchen as he could and saw his parents sitting at their wooden table, the same wooden table that his dad and grandfather had built just a few months before. Leigh Anne had her face in her hands, her long brown hair covering her face. Larry kneeled beside her and placed his hands on her and pleaded, "Leigh Anne, darling, it's going to be okay. We are going to fight this. You are going to beat this."

Leigh Anne looked up and Danny can see that her face was red and wet with tears. "No, Larry, you heard the doctor," she said, angrily. "It's too late. The cancer is already progressing. Anything else would make it worse."

Larry stood up and said, "You're right. It's too late. It's too late for you to try to beat this thing. Like it was too late for you to get pregnant. You remember what the doctor said, you will never get pregnant. You will never have children. You might as well give up on having a family."

Leigh Anne shot up and screamed, "That has nothing to do with this."

"Yes it does!" he yelled back, which shocked Leigh Anne. In nearly five years of marriage, Leigh Anne had never heard her husband raise his voice.

Larry stood back and said, "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to yell at you. You were just given some terrible news, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Leigh Anne gave a little smile, sat down on her chair, and said, "It's all right."

Larry sat down next to her and said, "Before we got married, the doctor told you that you had an infection that may make it harder to have children but you didn't listen to the doctor. We went to Mexico and we made love and that love made you pregnant. That love gave you a baby, our baby."

"Our miracle baby," Leigh Anne said, smiling. Suddenly, she turned to her husband am said, "Maybe I can try some treatments. I can't promise anything. But I'll try."

Larry smiled, grateful for what was said, grateful that his wife was trying to beat cancer. He embraced his wife, holding her tenderly. He looked up and saw Danny standing there. He had heard everything and was near tears. Larry nudged Leigh Anne and she looked up through her tears and saw her little boy, who looked like he had aged.

"Hey, Danny-boy," she said, using her nickname for him, reflecting on his Irish heritage. She smiled and said, "What's wrong?"

Danny felt sad and afraid to tell his mommy what was wrong. He didn't want to get yelled at because he overheard his parents' conversation.

Leigh Anne looked over and offered her hand to her son. "Sweetie, please tell me what's the matter," she said. Danny still wouldn't talk to her. Leigh Anne released herself from Larry's embrace and kneeled in front of Danny and cupped his chin in her hands. "Sweetie, please tell your mommy what's wrong."

Danny looked up and Leigh Anne saw a tear come down her son's face. "Mommy, are you going to die?" he asked, quietly.

Leigh Anne felt tears spring to her eyes and she grabbed Danny and hugged him tight. Tighter than she had ever hugged anyone. She felt tears pour from her eyes as she hugged her son. She felt such pain seeing her son, worried and terrified that he was going to lose his mommy.

After a few minutes, Leigh Anne pulled him into her lap and ruffled his hair. "Sweetie, I'm going to tell you the truth. Mommy's sick."

"DO you have chicken pox?" Danny asked, thinking about the time he had them.

Leigh Anne smiled a bit and said, "No Danny-boy. I wish I did. I have cancer."

"What's cancer?" he asked.

"Well, cancer is a disease that makes me sick. Mommy's body can't work the way it should," she said.

Danny asked, "Can you take medicine? Can you get better?"

Leigh Anne looked at Larry, who gave her the "Look", the "look" said, "Yes, you could take medicine."

Leigh Anne looked back at her son and said, "Yes, there's medicine and I'm going to take that medicine."

Danny asked, "Will you get better?"

Leigh Anne gave him a squeeze and said, "I'll try, darling. I'll try to get better for you."

Danny smiled and wrapped his arms around her neck. "I love you, Mommy."

Leigh Anne felt her heart melt and she hugged him back. With her son's love, Leigh Anne had a new sense of determination. There was no question, she was going to fight and beat this cancer. She had to. She had to fight for her son.

Leigh Anne started treatment for her cancer the following week. Larry cut down on his work to care for his wife and be there for Danny. It wasn't easy, sometimes the family had to cut down on expenses, like trips to the movie theater or the new bike. However, Larry made things work even if that required moving his parents, Mabel and Thomas, in to help out but he made it work. He also made time for Danny. More than anything, Larry wanted to make sure Danny didn't feel alone or unloved. It was very difficult for Danny to deal with his mother suffering through a terrible disease. Nonetheless, Larry made extra sure that Danny felt loved and cared for. Danny sat back in his chair and smiled as he thought about how his dad took the time to play with him. Larry would push Danny on the swings and throw the football around. Danny laughed as he thought about the time when he and his dad tried to roller-skate. Apparently, Larry wasn't the most coordinated and he fell down more times than he actually skated! Above all, Larry made sure Danny wasn't sad and scared for his mommy. Despite the chemotherapy and radiation she was undergoing, Leigh Anne's health was slowly down. Danny was about to form a memory of his mother's physical appearance. He decided he wanted to see a real picture of his mom so he went to his bedroom and retrieve an old photo album from underneath his bed. Danny opened it up and smiled. Leigh Anne was everything Danny remembered; young, beautiful, full of energy. She had big brown eyes and the longest, most beautiful brown hair Danny had ever seen. Danny smiled as remembered the times he would sit in his mom's lap and play with her hair. Danny smiled as he flipped through the pages, seeing his mom in so many different situations; covered in a apron and flour as she made Christmas cookies, egg on her apple checks, laughing and jumping on a trampoline with her friends at a Fourth of July party, smiling with teary eyes as she held baby Danny. But soon, the smiled changed to something else…something sadder. Danny felt a lump grow in his throat as she saw the pictures taken of his mother…after she began chemotherapy. Danny ran his fingers over her face. Her stunning brown hair had fallen out and her face, once full and olive-skinned, was now gaunt and pale. Her athletic built had dissolved into a small, bony frame. Danny remembered hugging her one time and her crying out in pain as a result, for her bones were so frail. Danny felt miserable and ran to his room and hid underneath the covers.

Larry had settled Leigh Anne in her bed and ran to check on Danny. Larry knew that Danny was hiding under his bed; he always did that when he did something wrong or when he was afraid. Larry saw Danny's feet peeking under the bed so he decided to have a little fun.

"_Gee, am I stuffed from dinner," he kidded. "I guess I'm too full to have this yummy, delicious cup of Jell-O. I think I will leave it here on the nightstand until later."_

_Larry placed it on the nightstand table and walked out of room. Then, he closed the door but kept it open a crack, so he could see Danny. Sure enough, Danny got up from under the bed and took the Jell-O. Larry opened the door and yelled, "Ah-ha! Gotcha, Danny boy!"_

_Danny looked up and held his Jell-O and figured it out. "Hey! You tricked me!"_

_Larry smiled, sat down on the bed, and pulled his son to his lap. "Yes, I did. What's wrong, pal?"_

_Danny looked down and said, "I hurt Mommy."_

"_Aww, Danny boy," he said, as he gave him a warm hug. "You didn't hurt Mommy."_

"_But she cried when I tried to hug her," he whined, feeling tears come down. _

"_I know, but the reason why she cried is because her bones are very delicate," he explained. "And they aren't as strong as she wants them to be and when you hugged her,.."_

"_I hurt her," Danny whispered._

"_No!" he insisted. "You did not hurt Mommy. When you hugged her, her bones weren't strong to hug her back. But you did not hurt her. You have made her so happy."_

"_I have?" he asked, a bit happy._

_Larry smiled and nodded. "Yes, you have. She has been crying a lot lately, she's scared. But when your name is spoken or when you come to see her, she stops crying and smiles. She's happy because you give her something to look forward to. You give her hope and love."_

"_So I didn't hurt her? I made her happy?" he asked._

_Larry nodded and hugged him. "And you make me happy," he said. _

"_I do?" he asked._

_Larry smiled and nodded. "You have made your mother and me very happy since the day you were born."_

Danny felt his dad's love from that hug. Even at that young age, he knew that he was helping to ease his family's pain. And his dad, in turned, helped ease Danny's pain. However, as he got older, Danny found that he was adding little by little to his dad's pain by doing stupid, childish things. Nonetheless, Danny felt deep down in his heart that somehow, he was giving his dad some joy. He knew that, he felt that in his soul…because his dad had given him joy. Yet, Danny had a regret…that he didn't give him enough joy. Danny closed his eyes and let a tear fall down his cheeks, the same cheeks as his mother's, and let it fall onto his mom's picture. That one tear wasn't just for the regret and his mom's death, it was for all those years after his mom's death…..when he wasn't the son his dad deserved and needed.


	4. Come Undone

Come Undone

Author's Note: I do not own the words to the song, "To Where You Are"

Who can say for certain   
Maybe you're still here  
I feel you all around me  
Your memory's so clear

Danny threw himself into planning his dad's funeral for the next few days. He picked out a brown casket and ordered simple red roses and had one wake and the funeral the day after. He just wanted to get it over with so the funeral was held within a three-day time span. During the wake and funeral, Danny kept his emotions at bay, trying hard to put on a good face for the kind family and friends that had come. Danny let some tears flow when the pastor, the same pastor that had married his parents, bapitzied him, and buried his mom, speak of good memories of Larry and Leigh Anne. But Danny stopped; he couldn't let his emotions go out. After the repast, Danny came home from feeling more emotionally drained. He hadn't cried a lot but he felt so much pain. He wasn't sure how much he could take, the people crying, the people telling him how sorry they were or how shocked they felt about Larry's death. However, Danny needed to do something he didn't want to do; clean out his dad's house. The same house that he lived in with Leigh Anne and Danny. Danny didn't want to do it…but if he didn't do it now, he would never do it. He decided he would call upon Mary and Mike to help him. They agreed to help him, of course, so the next day, Mary, Mike, and Danny were at the house. Since Larry left the house to Danny, Danny decided it would be best to sell it and put the money away. Danny had a realtor coming that week, giving him more of an incentive to clean out the house. So, Danny had a plan to clean out the use and weed out any items to donate to Goodwill. The three looked through the old items and came up with some wonderful, sentimental items.

_Deep in the stillness  
I can hear you speak_

_You're still an inspiration_

_Can it be?_

Emerging from Larry's bedroom, Mary walked through holding a big, old-fashion, tape deck. "Guys, check this out," she said.

Mike and Danny were moving furniture out of the way and saw the tape recorder.

"Cool, man," Mike said. "What is it?"

"It's an old tape recorder that my dad bought for my mom," Danny said, warmly. "That was her birthday present."

"I remember this," Mary said, warmly. "When we would hang out, your mom would sing along to it when she was cleaning."

"Yeah and three of us would pretend to be disc jockeys and sing and record stuff," Danny said.

"Well, let's hear something," Mike said. "I would love to hear Danny's beautiful singing voice." He jokingly poked Danny in the ribs.

Mary set the tape deck on the coffee table and pressed the "PLAY" button. After a few seconds of static, the young voices of Danny and Mary appeared.

"Ladies and gentlemen," yelled Danny. "The Mirage Hotel in fabulous"

"It's 'fabulous', silly," said Mary.

"Mom-my!" yelled Danny. "Mary called me silly!"

"Tattle tale!" yelled Mary.

"Am not!" yelled Danny.

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Kids! What is going on?" said Leigh Anne.

Immediately, Danny felt a chill go up his spine. It had been years since he heard his mom's voice.

"Why do I hear yelling?" she asked.

"Well, Mary called me 'silly' cause I can't pronounce 'fabulous';" explained Danny.

"Mary, you know it's not nice to call people names," Leigh Anne said.

"I know, I'm sorry, Danny," Mary said.

"It's A-OK," said Danny.

The three adults laughed and Mary said, "You always said that."

"A-OK, man," said Mike, playfully punching Danny's arm.

Danny just laughed and listened to his mom.

"Mrs. McCoy, can you sing a song with us?" asked Mary.

"I don't know," she said, hesitantly.

"Please, Mommy!" begged Danny. "You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world!"

"Awwww, thank you," said Leigh Anne. After a while, she said, "Ok, sweethearts. I'll sing for you." A few minutes later, "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky…"

The three were mesmerized by Leigh Anne's voice. It sounded like an angel, so gentle and calm. So unlike anything they ever heard. Not even the great singers that they had at the casino sounded as lovely as Leigh Anne.

Feeling tears well up in his eyes, Danny walked over to the tape deck and said, "I've forgotten how beautiful my mother's voice was."

Mary and Mike smiled. "Yeah, man, your momma had some soul," Mike said with a smile.

"You know, my mother sang to me all the time," he said. "Before bedtime, when I was sick, even in the car. She loved to sing. My dad once said, the happiest times in his life were when he heard my mom sing. He said it made him feel things he couldn't feel before. I never understood what that meant. But now, listening to my mom, I understand. I understand what Dad meant. It meant he felt something, something in here-" He pointed to his heart.

Mary and Mike walked over to him and each put a hand on Danny's shoulders. "It's okay to cry, Danny," Mary said, tears of her coming down.

"Yeah, man, we know how hard this must be for you," Mike consoled. "You loved your parents a lot and they loved you."

"It's not just that," he said, getting up and looking out the window, seeing the old swing set he once played on with his parents. "It's a lot of things."

"Like what, Danny?" Mary asked.

Danny felt a lump grow in his throat and he said, "I screwed things up."

Looking bewildered, Mike asked, "What are you talking about, Danny?"

Danny took a breath and said, "When my mom died, I was the only thing my dad had left. I was to make things easier but I ended up making things harder for him." Danny sat down and rubbed his eyes.

Mary sat next to him and said, "Danny, every kid ticks off his parents, it's called growing up."

"It's not just that," Danny said, looking up, his eyes read and tears filled with tears. "When I was kid, I always wanted to hang out with my dad but he was always busy with work and such. And then, when my mom got sick, he began to hang out with more. Then, my mom died and I guess he felt guilty that I didn't have a mother so he wanted to make up for it. But by then, I wanted nothing to do with it. I guess because I spent so much time with my mom and my dad wasn't my mom; he didn't have her sweet voice or ability to be one of the kids. And he didn't have as much patience. He didn't really know how to be a father. And I needed that, so I rebelled against it. I did the stupidest crap, you know, cutting school, getting crappy grades, breaking curfew. And then, when I was older, I decided to make some changes so I left for the Marines. And when I came back, I had grown up and wanted to live my own life and not think about the past. I just wanted to focus on my future. But my dad did some growing up of his own. He had gotten some patience and he had grown up too, so he wanted to make for lost time. But I didn't. I always made lame excuses, _oh, I have work_ or _I'm tired_ or _It's not Mom, it's a headstone. _He was extending a hand out and I shut him down. All because I wanted to be my own man and forget about the past. Just forget about how painful it felt to see my mom suffer." With every word, Mike and Mary saw their best friend's presence change. His breaths became deeper, his chest heaving, his lips quivering, and his eyes about to overflow with tears. Whispering, Danny said, "Now, I've made my dad suffer. I was the one who cause him more pain. I was the bad son." Looking like he was about to cry, Mary and Mike each rubbed their friend's trembling shoulders.

"It's okay, man," encouraged Mike. "You need to let it out."

Just like that, Danny burst into tears, for the first time in front of everyone. He just cried and sobbed, cried and sobbed. He looked up through his tears and whispered in a tiny voice, "I can't handle this. I can take much more pain. I'm just not strong enough."

Feeling tears come down, Mary wrapped her arms around him and laid his head on her shoulder. "I know, Danny. I know you feel you can't get through this but you can. You can get through this. Danny, I've known you since we were 2 and everything that life has dealt you, you have faced it."

"Yeah, man, you can survive this," agreed Mike. "You are strong enough."

"And you're not alone," said Mary, wiping Danny's handsome face with some Kleenex that Mike had given her. "You got me and Mike and Big Ed and Sam and Delinda. I mean, we all love you."

Mike kneeled next to him and rubbed Danny's arm. "Danny, don't keep this in. When you're hurting, we're hurting. We're here for you, pal."

Danny looked up through his tears. And his eyes glazed on his two best friends. For the first time in a long time, he felt the love from his friends. Just by Mike and Mary being there, holding him, telling him that it was okay to cry, and offering their support, Danny knew he could survive.

Wiping his tears, Danny smiled and said, "Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it." Danny stood up and hugged his friends, tightly. Then, he laughed, "Okay, enough emotional crap, let's pack this place up."

Mary and Mike spent the rest of the day helping Danny pack up the house. The three friends had accumulation enough items to be donated to Goodwill. Mike called and arranged for the Goodwill truck to come by early the next morning.

Mary and Mike coaxed Danny into burgers and beer at "Lucky 7" a restaurant in Vegas. In fact, "Lucky 7" was where Danny's parents had their first date. As Danny drove back to his parents' house to get some personal items, he laughed at the fact that it seemed wherever he went; he was reminded of his parents. He hated that! Maybe that's why he originally left Vegas for the Marines, to get away from the pain. However, he couldn't avoid it anymore. Danny drove to his parents' house to pack up three boxes. He just had packed the last box and decided to walk through the house for a quick check. Upon entering his parents' room, he saw a long white envelope on the ground. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It had his full name written on it. "Daniel Lawrence Michael Thomas," his middle names after his dad and two grandfathers. The envelope was yellow with aged. What freaked Danny out was that the name was written in his mom's handwriting. This was a letter from his mom! Danny ran his fingers over the envelope in apprehension. Suddenly, he felt nervous. He wasn't sure that he do this; he didn't know if he was strong enough to read his mother's words. But then, he realized what Mike said earlier in the day, "You are strong enough." Danny smiled a little and nodded his head. He was strong enough to do this. With that newfound courage, Danny sat on the bed, kicked off his black sneakers and opened his letter………


	5. A Mother's Letter

A Mother's Letter of Love

Danny opened the envelope and pulled out the letter and unfolded it. It was four pages long and written in blue ink. Danny took a deep breath and began to read the letter.

_My dearest Daniel:_

_Hello, my love. As I write this letter, I'm filled with apprehension. I have so many things to tell you, so much I want to teach you, so much I want you to carry with you for the rest of your life. But I don't know were to start. I don't know how to word everything that I'm feeling and thinking. But I'm going to stop worrying and write my heart. That's all I have been using since I can remember and the first thing I want to tell you….listen to your heart. Do it because it will never let you down. Listening to my heart has always helped me._

_I'm trying so hard to picture the young man reading this letter. I know that the young man reading this letter isn't my little Danny-boy anymore. I wonder how old you are, 17, 21, 40? Well, whatever age you are, I know you are ready because I told your father to give you this letter when you were ready, when you are strong enough. _

Danny cringed. His dad had never told him about the letter. Danny squeezed his eyes tight, holding back the tears he had inside, the tears of regret and remorse. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes again and proceeded to read.

_Danny, I can't explain why this is happening to me, why I am suffering with this disease, why I am losing my hair or why I feel my physical strength slowly sliding away. Danny, things in life happen and we don't know why they do. No matter how hard we try, we can't find a reasonable answer. As hard as it seems, we must continue to press on and fight with everything we have inside of us; we must fight with all our minds, with all our hearts, and with all our souls. This is something that I have lived my life with. This is something that I want you, my son, to live your life with. _

_Fighting with all my mind, heart, and soul lead me to the sweetest gift I could be given…. you. Before I married your father, I had a bad infection that almost took away my ability to have children. In fact, the doctor said that I had a whopping 25 chance of carrying and delivering a baby healthy. However, after days of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to persevere and my efforts paid off. You were conceived on our honeymoon. I had a difficult pregnancy, which required me to full bed rest for three months. The labor was difficult and long. In fact, I thought I would die because of the intense pain. However, you came out, crying, and I feel instantly in love with you. When the doctor placed you in my arms, I felt a river of love enter my very soul. You were simply the most beautiful baby ever. You were an angel and a constant source of joy, love, and inspiration to your father and me. Not a day went by when we didn't thank God for our little boy._

Danny felt his heart melt when he read those beautiful words, touched by love from his mother.

As I look to into the eyes of the little boy that plays on the swings, I can only hope and pray for your future. There is so much I want you to do and learn and accomplish. I know that every mother wants their child to be a scientist or president but my goals for you are simple: I want you to be happy. I want you to do something good with your life; I want you to be an important person and a good person. Las Vegas is a tough town with many people who have thrown away their gifts and talents on vulgar things. I don't want that to happen to you. I know that you will have the courage to make the right decisions and live your life the right way.

Don't ever be afraid. Fear doesn't make things happen, you make things happen. Don't be afraid to take a chance and try new things. Don't live your life wondering 'what if'. I took a chance on something big, your father. I was scared to fall in love and have my heart broken but I took a chance and I found your father to be the best man I could ever ask for. Danny, I wish that someday, you have a marriage like your father's and mine. We were in love from the moment our eyes met; at a friend's wedding. We had our first date at "Lucky 7" and fell in love quickly. In fact, he proposed to me after only a month and we married six months after. Everyone thought we were rushing into things but we didn't care. "When you know, you know," we told everyone. We had the most beautiful wedding, held in the church that I was raised in. When your father and I said our wedding vows, we looked into each other's eyes and felt like we were the only ones in the church. At our reception our first dance was to a beautiful song by my favorite singer, Gladys Knight.

Danny felt his heart nearly stop. It was at the Gladys Knight concert that Danny found out about his dad's death. A tear went down his face and almost fell onto the paper but Danny pushed it out of the way. Danny wiped his eyes, took a deep breath, and bravely continued to read.

We went to Mexico for our honeymoon and when we come back, we got a surprise package, you. You dad fell in love with you instantly and was the constant doting father. He was such a good man. He was the best husband, father, and friend I could ever ask for. And that is why he will be a good father to you. He has doubts that he will be able to handle things but I know in my heart he will succeed. I know him to be a good loving man who will give you all the help and love and support you need. I realize also that you two may not always get along. You may argue and fight a lot. You may even say you hate each other. But I want you to remember if you two stick together and be a team, listen to each other and talk to each other, you two will be all right

Danny felt a lump grow in his throat. He stopped and pondered that statement. "Stick together and be a team." "Learn and listen to each other". That was so tough for them to do a lot of the time.

Danny once again forced back tears and bravely, continued to read the letter.

Danny, I love you so much. Throughout everything I have been though with my cancer, you have been the one who has kept me going. Your smile had warmed the coldness that I have experience and your hugs have been the light in my darkness. You gave me a reason to live and keep living. I wouldn't have even tried to beat my cancer if you didn't crawl in my lap the day I found out I was sick…And that is why it hurts me so much to know that I will have to leave you.

And that's when Danny felt a jolt of pain hit his heart. In fact, the jolt was so strong that it morphed into a physical pain causing Danny to clutch his chest. After a few minutes, Danny felt stronger enough to read his letter.

But I don't want you to grieve over me. I don't want you to feel sad. The reason is that I feel sad and I am grieving. In fact, as I write this letter, I'm crying. I'm crying over the fact that I will have to leave the two most important men in my life, your dad and you. I'm grieving the fact that I will not be able to grow old with your father, a man that I love with all my heart and soul. A man that has been my strength, my hope, and my love. A man that has held me in his arms and dried my tears when I cried because I was in such pain. I'm grieving the fact that I wouldn't be able to see you grow up; help you with your homework, argue with you when you're going through your teenage years, see you graduate from high school, see you get married or have children of your own. That's what hurts the most.

And that's what hurt Danny too. Danny experienced a lot in his life and his mom wasn't there to see it. It would have been wonderful for Leigh Anne to be alive and take pictures of him at his graduation or given him a reassured hug when he went into the Marines. Or been able to see his parents dance at the Montecito when Gladys Knight performed there. Maybe his dad wouldn't have died cause he would be at the concert with his mom. They did everything together.

But Danny, I'm not sad anymore. A wonderful thought has just entered my head. I have always believed in angels. I believe that guardian angels are all around us, watching us, guiding us, and protecting us. And I believe that the people that we love that have died become our angels. So that's what I will be, your guardian angel. I will be watching you, guiding you, and protecting you. Danny, whenever you feel afraid or lonely, I will be right there. Remember when you had a bad dream and you cried for me and I came right into your room and I calmed you down? Well, that's what angels do. Whenever the angel's loved one is in trouble, she flies down with her wings and comfort the loved one. That's what I will be doing. Whenever you're scared or lonely, just call for me and I will be there. And even if you don't call me, I will be there. I always will be there, watching you and your father. No matter how old you get, I will always be watching you because I love you very much. And I always will. Never forget that. You are my precious child and more special to me than words can say.

I love you again, Mommy.

Danny closed the letter and placed in the envelope. He sat it down and looked at it. He reflected on his mother's words. He reflected on what was inside in the letter. He looked at the papers. He felt that he had just read his mother's heart and soul; he felt all her love, all her fears, all her hopes and all her dreams. He felt like he was being introduced to his mother all over again, to the woman she was, the woman that his father had loved. Now, Danny realized why his dad never got over losing her and why Danny didn't have any other strong female presences (except for Mary) in his life. There was no other woman who had that boldness to speak her heart, not holding anything back. There was no other woman who had given so much and showed two men that they don't have to live like macho men; that they can lead with their hearts and not be afraid to show love and comfort. There was only woman that proved to Danny and Larry and showed them that in the face of pain and suffering and death and grief, family can survive and love can grow and flourish and preserve. That's what had happened to Larry and Danny, Danny realized, that throughout everything, Larry's love for him and Leigh Anne had flourished. That's why Danny was the man he was…. because of his mother and father. Danny realized that all the words that were written in his mother's letter were all the things that his dad had taught him; Leigh Anne had, in an unusual yet wonderful way had helped parent Danny. Danny smiled as he thought about those worlds that he mother wrote him, "Whenever the angel's loved one is in trouble, she flies down with her wings and comfort the loved one." Danny never really thought about angels. He wasn't one to get spiritual but he thought about all the close calls he had in his life; when he fought in war as a Marine or when he got his foot shot on the Montecito's loading docks. He should have gotten killed…but he didn't. And he wasn't sure why. But looking back, he realized that there was someone watching him, someone guiding him, and someone protecting him, his mother.

And I believe  
That angels breathe  
And that love will live on and never leave

Danny realized that his mother had truly never left him; her spirit was all around him and likewise, his dad's spirit would be all around him. That gave Danny a small measure of peace, peace that he could finally tell his dad, "I'm sorry."


	6. An Angel's Visit

An Angel's Visit in a Dark, Stormy Night

Author's Note: I don't own the words to the song, "_Calling All Angels."_

_I need a sign to let me know you're here  
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere  
I need to know that things are gonna look up  
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup  
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head  
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said_

_And I'm calling all angels  
I'm calling all you angels_

By the time Danny put down the letter and looked at his watch, it was past midnight. Danny shifted a yawn and realized that the realtor was coming early into the morning to check out the house so Danny realized that he needed to get some sleep. Not wanting to leave his parents' house, Danny just kicked off his shoes, fell back onto the mattress, and fell asleep. Soon, he was dreaming. The dream was something that he had as a little boy. It starts off so peaceful; Danny is playing in his backyard with his mom and dad, playing on the swings, his dad pushing him from the back and his mom pushing him from the front. Soon, the dream changes; suddenly he is all alone, scared, holding his teddy bear. His mom and dad are no where to be found, so he cries and screams, "Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!" He keeps screaming and screaming and looking and looking but can't find his mom and dad. The dream goes on. However, this dream was different. Danny wasn't a little boy anymore; he was a grown man, alone in the Nevada Desert. It was night and the air was surprisingly cold and bitter. Danny was shivering, wearing only jeans and a white T-shirt. Suddenly, he saw his dad standing in front of him. Feeling relief and happiness, Danny began to run towards Larry and screamed, "Dad! Dad! It's me!" Larry couldn't hear him so Danny ran and yelled louder, "DAD! DAD! IT'S DANNY!" Unexpectedly, a speedy SUV came blazing on the road headed towards…………. "DAD!" Danny screamed. Larry was standing right in the light of the speeding car, not moving. Danny ran so fast that he couldn't stop and he kept screaming, "DAD! DAD! STOP! PLEASE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" No matter how loud he yelled and how fast he ran, Danny could _not _get Larry's attention. And the car kept going and going…until it was just about to hit Larry.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Danny. He woke up in a cold sweat, panting, his chest heaving and his hands trembling. Danny sat up in his bed and put his head in his hands and tried to calm down but he couldn't. Suddenly, he felt overwhelmed by the dream, overwhelmed by guilt. His mind began to race with thoughts; _I should have picked up Dad the night of the concert. I should have told Ed that my dad had car trouble and I need to give him a lift. I shouldn't have been so wrapped up in Montecito business. It's all my fault. My dad is dead and it's all my fault._ Suddenly, the guilt ignited something in Danny; anger. Danny jumped up and began to throw things, anything, pillows, sneakers, socks, anything he could get his hands on. He threw these objects with such anger and pain, it all directed at his dad. "Why?" he screamed. "Why, Dad? Why did you die? Why couldn't I save you? Why? WHY?" Danny couldn't throw anymore or scream anymore. Overcome with grief and pain and anger, he fell down on the floor and curled his knees into his chest and cried and sobbed. He lost himself in the range of emotions and just cried. After a few minutes, Danny still didn't feel any different. He felt so achy inside, the events of the past few days had taken their toll on Danny. Danny felt so alone, even though he was told he wasn't, but he did. He felt so scared. And he remembered, _"Whenever the angel's love ones are in trouble, the angel comes down and comforts them." _Danny needed an angel; he couldn't do this anymore; so even though he felt weird, he looked up to the ceiling with teary eyes. Taking a deep breath, Danny said, "Mom, I don't what to do. I can't handle this. I can't. Mom, I really need you. Please, please, help me. Help me."

Danny kept talking and crying and sat on the floor for hours. Soon, something happened, Danny felt his anger and grief melt away. He began to calm down, his breathing calmed down and his chest calmed down. The tears stopped and he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time….peace. Peace for his troubled soul. Peace for the range of emotions that had been running through him for the past few days. Danny stood up and went to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and was shocked by his appearance; his eyes were red and puffy, his face was red and worn with emotion. He turned on the water and washed his face. Then, he walked back to the bed and lied down on the soft mattress. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep. He slept through the whole night, undisturbed and peaceful. He knew why; his mother had calmed his soul.


	7. I'm Sorry

I'm sorry

Danny tried very hard to put away the unusual night he had had. The real estate agent had come and the two decided to put the house up for sale with Danny getting whatever money that would come. After three hours of looking around, the agent left and Danny felt drained. Despite all the packing, Danny felt stuffed of sadness and pain for the past few days. He knew he had to do something he had been dreading: visit his parents' grave. So, he decided to go.

Danny drove down the strip in his yellow and black car Camaro. He had never told many people (except Mike and Mary) but the yellow and black Camaro convertible was his mother's. She loved that car so much, taking such good care of it and making sure the oil was changed and everything. Danny really admired his mom; not a lot of women knew how to change their own oil. Danny had so many wonderful moments with that car. Danny smiled at some memories; he would be sitting in his car seat and his mom would sing along to the radio and the 8 tracks, mostly Gladys Knight songs. "Midnight Train to Georgia", "I Heard it Through the Grapevine", "I Feel A Song (in my heart)" were such songs he heard as a child. Danny remembered hearing Leigh Anne sing to the radio. She'd bounce her head and sing along to the radio. Danny laughed as he thought about that, she looked so silly but she also looked like she was having so much fun. Danny recalled a time when she wanted him to be one of the Pips. They were driving home from preschool.

"_Ok, Danny boy," she said, popping in a Gladys Knight 8track. "Ready to sing?"_

_Danny rolled his eyes and said, "Mommy, I don't want to sing this song."_

_Leigh Anne gave him a look and said, "Come on, peanut, you know this song."_

"_That's because you sing it all the time," Danny said._

_Leigh Anne laughed and said, "Well, little man, since I sing it all the time, you know the song and you can sing it with me."_

_Danny looked at her and said, "Okay."_

"_That's my boy," she said. "Ready?"_

"_Ready, Mommy," he said._

"_L.A. proved too much for the man…" they began to sing. Soon, Danny and his mom were having a great time, singing. Sure, Danny didn't have the best voice but it didn't matter. He was with his mommy, having a great time. _

Danny smiled at that memory. But suddenly, the smiled faded. He had pulled up right in front of the cemetery. Suddenly, he had doubts.

"I can't do this," he breathed. He put his head down and rubbed his eyes. "I can't do this."

All of a sudden, another memory entered his head. He must of have been about five years old. He had a terrible nightmare and was crying for his mommy. About five minutes later, Leigh Anne came in. Danny recalled that she had just started chemotherapy and was starting to show the effects. Her hair had begun to fall out and she was wearing a little hat to cover up her baldness. Her weight was beginning to drop but that didn't stop her from bringing comfort to her little boy.

"_What's wrong, sweetie?" she had asked, sitting down beside him._

_Tears coming down, Danny said, "Mommy, I had a bad dream."_

"_Aww, sweetheart," she said, giving him a warm hug, rubbing his back. "It's okay, it's just a dream, Danny boy." She sat there for a while and hugged him tight. _

_After a few minutes, Leigh Anne said, "You know, my love. Why don't I sing to you?"_

"_You already sang to me earlier," he pointed out._

_Jokingly, she replied, "So, I can't sing to you again? Gee, that's a shame cause I was gonna sing Mommy and Daddy's special song."_

_Danny perked up and said, "Oh, no, Mommy! You can sing the song! I like that song!"_

_Leigh Anne smiled and said, "Really? You like that song?"_

"_Yes, I do," he said._

_Leigh Anne smiled at his approval and tucked him in his bed, making sure the covers were tucked in tightly and his pillow was fluffy. Danny smiled and recalled that no one fluffed a pillow quite like his mom._

"_Okay, my love," she said. Soon, Leigh Anne began to sing._

I've had my share,  
Of life's ups and downs,  
but fates been kind,  
the downs have been few,

I guess you could say,  
I've been lucky,  
Or I guess you could say,  
That it's all because of you.

If anyone, should ever write, my life story,  
for whatever reason there might be,  
you'd be there,  
between each line of pain and glory,  
cos your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
Oh your the best thing that ever happened to me.

There have been times,  
when times were hard,  
but always somehow I made it, I made it through,  
But for every moment that I've been hurtin',  
there's been a moment, that I've spent...  
Oh just loving you,

If anyone should ever write my life story,  
for whatever, for whatever reason there might be,  
you'd be there, between each line of pain and glory,  
Cos your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
Oh your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
don't you know, your the best thing...  
Oh that ever happened,  
to me.

_****_

Danny listened to his mom sing and little by little, drifted off to sleep. He had a big smile on his face as he slept, happy that his mom was singing to him. All the fears that he had from his bad dream were gone…all because of his mom's singing.

_Leigh Anne tiptoed out of the room. Then, "Mommy?" Danny had woken up._

_She turned around and said, "Yes, Danny?"_

"_Thank you for singing your special song," he said. He turned over and fell asleep._

Leigh Anne smiled and said, "You're welcome, sweetie."

Danny smiled at that memory and thought about his mother, how strong she was. Despite the pain she was in, Leigh Anne still found the strength to comfort her son when he had a bad dream. She found the courage to sing the song whose lyrics seem to tell her life story. If his mom found the courage to sing when she was suffering from cancer, Danny could visit his parents' grave. He took a deep breath and with shaking hands, he clutched the bouquet of pink and white roses (his mother's favorite) and walked to the headstone.

When he approached the grave, he was amazed at how beautiful it was. Danny was in such a trance the day of Larry's funeral that he didn't realized the surroundings. The workers had laid all the flowers on the ground; they looked so lovely and there were so many kinds of flowers, roses, lily's, daisies, and tulips. Danny walked and kneeled in front of the headstone that had Larry's name engraved on it, right next to Leigh Anne's.

Lawrence Michael McCoy 

_September 12, 1948-May 4, 2005_

_Beloved father and husband._

_Leigh Anne Abigail Reynolds McCoy_

_April 14, 1955-June 21, 1978_

_Beloved wife and mother._

Danny noticed flowers covering the writing built he decided to check it later. Right now, he needed to talk to his father.

Taking a deep breath, Danny began to talk, "Hey, Dad. How's it going?"

Of course, he was met with silence. Danny sat down and laid the roses bedside him. He took off his baseball hat that said, "McCoy Landscaping" on it and twisted it. "Dad, I came here to talk to you. I got so many things on my mind these last few days, so much I want to tell you. I don't know where the heck to begin. I have so much to tell you. I guess I'll just say it. Dad, with all the thinking I gave been doing the past couple of days, I realized I never got the chance to say 'thank you' for all the things you did for me, for everything you gave me, for being the father you were. I mean, you were a great dad; you really were even though I never told you. And even though I ticked you off a lot. I remember the time when Greg and I tried to sneak into that casino when we were 17. And the cops caught us and I thought you were going to ground me for life but you didn't. You told me that night that if I wanted to act like an grown up I'd have to do grown up things so for three days of my spring break, you made me work in the 115 degree heat while all my friends were hanging out in the pool. I hated you so much; I was so ticked off at you. But I realized that you did that to teach me a lesson. That's what you did with me, taught me lessons. Taught me how to be a hard worker. Taught me how to be a man. Taught me how to be strong when life threw you a curve. Taught me how to handle bad situations and take responsibility for things. You taught me how to treat people, especially women. Most of all, Dad, you taught me how to love, how to keep loving even when there was nothing but death and sadness. Like you did with, Mom, she was dying right in front of us and you kept loving her, even when she died." Feeling a lump grow in his throat, he reached out to run his fingers over his dad's name. "And you kept on loving me, even though I took you for granted and pushed you away at times, you kept loving me." The tears that were forming in his eyes made their way down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry for everything I did to you. I'm so sorry." Danny broke down, removed his hand from the letters, and buried his face in his hands, sobbing and crying, his shoulders bouncing up and down. Danny cried out his remorse and regret for the bad son he thought he was. In the midst of his tears, Danny whispered, "I was such a bad son, Dad. I'm a bad son."

"Stop," said a voice.

Danny looked up and saw through his tears, Ed standing by him, clutching a bouquet of sunflowers.

"What?" Danny asked, wiping his tears away rather quickly.

"I don't wanna hear you beating yourself up," he said, kneeling next to him.

"What else should I say?" he asked, exasperated. "My dad offered time and time again to get close to me and I just turned him down like he didn't matter."

Ed looked at him sadly and said, "This maybe hard for you to believe but you really did care for your father. Who did you call to take to that boxing fight the Montecito had?"

Danny wiped his eyes and said, "My dad."

"And when Gladys Knight came to the Montecito, who did you call to make sure he would come?"

Danny's tears came down and he said, "My dad."

"Hmmm, you shared so many opportunities with your dad," he said. "I think you were a good son."

Danny looked down at the stone and thought about what Ed had said. After awhile, Danny said, "You know, my mom was a big fan of Gladys Knight. She loved her music so much. I think it was because it seemed that every song told my mom's life story, what she was feeling or thinking inside. Her favorite song was, _The Best Thing that ever happened to me. _ It was the song they dance to at their wedding. It seemed that every word and every line of that song, told my parents' love story. For all the bad times they had and all the good times they had, my parents were there for each other and they loved each other. They loved each other; Ed and they went through hell. Literal hell. I mean, my mom had an infection that almost took away her ability to have kids. And, when she found out she was pregnant with me, she had such a hard pregnancy and she was in bed for three months and she had such a difficult labor, she was in such pain and she felt like she was going to die. And then, she had me and she was so happy to have her little boy and then…." He felt tears come to his eyes as he talked about his mother's death. "She found out she was sick…It happened to fast, Ed. My mom went downhill so fast. Her appetite was gone and her weight dropped. And her hair…she had this long, soft brown hair, it was so beautiful, especially when she wore it loose…. her hair was gone from the chemo. Her strength was gone. She couldn't walk to the bathroom without someone helping her. She couldn't even bathe herself, Ed. My grandma had to bath her. She was in this special hospital bed that we had to put in our living room because it was too big for my parents' room. She would have given anything to be able to get out of that darn bed, even for a minute to see me play soccer. Seeing her in the bed, sick and almost dead was tough for me. I couldn't imagine how it was for my dad. But he loved her anyway. I remember walking past the bedroom one night and um, my mom was in bed and my dad was lying in the bed next to her, holding her, stroking her face, singing to her, singing their song, "the best thing that ever happened to me." I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe I was watching my father, this tough who never, ever let his emotions out, lying next to my mom, caressing her face, holding her in his arms, kissing her, singing to her. Seeing the love between them despite everything they had been through…it was so beautiful. Then, she died….a week later." Tears came down Danny's face. But he bravely began talking. "My dad was devastated. He lost more than a wife, he lost his soul mate. The love of his life. And I lost my mom. The one woman that got me, who helped me. I haven't had a female presence like that other than Mary, in a long time. In life, I sometimes wish that my mother was with me."

"She is with you. She always was and always will be." Ed said. He stood up and added, "You just need to remember that." With that, he patted Danny on the head, placed his flowers on the grave with the others, and left Danny alone.

Danny sat by the grave and pondered that thought. Leigh Anne was with him. In his grief and sadness. Then, he remembered the letter. Angel. _"Whenever the angel's loved one is in trouble, she flies down with her wings and comfort the loved one," were_ the beautiful words that his mom had written to him. Danny realized the power of those words and maybe, just maybe, his dad would be able to comfort him like his mom had done. Tears in his brown eyes, the same as his mom's he looked up to heaven and said, "Mom, Dad, I'm so confused. Help me. Please, help me."

Danny bowed his head and let the tears fall. Suddenly, he felt a gust of wind blow over him, enveloping him. The wind seemed to enter him, calming him, like water extinguishing a fire. Danny felt a peace and a calmness that he had never felt before. After a few minutes, still feeling the wind in his soul, he opened his eyes; he couldn't believe it, the trees were still, no wind blowing them. But he felt the wind……that's when he realized that the wind he felt in him was actually the spirit….or spirits of his mom and dad. They had come to help him, help him deal with that pain and sadness. He looked up, tears still in his eyes, and placed the roses on the grave and ran his fingers over the engravings on the stone, and said, "Thank you, Thank you, Mom and Dad." He leaned forward and kissed the engravings. He then, wiped his eyes, placed his baseball cap on, and left the cemetery.


	8. I love you

"I love you."

_And I believe  
That angels breathe  
And that love will live on and never leave_

Danny spent the rest of the day just driving around Las Vegas, thinking about the events of the past few days. The Montecito being sold to another owner, his dad's death, and Danny's dealing with grief. Danny seemed to finally grasp the events of the past few days but he reminded himself that he needed time to fully get over the pain of losing his dad but he would. That night, he decided to have his friends over the dinner. Afterwards, they went through some photo albums, Danny sharing his favorite moments of his parents. The girls "oohed" and "ahhed" at Leigh Anne's beautiful white wedding gown and the guys laughed and teased Danny as they saw him in his diapers. After all the guests left and the garbage was cleaned up, Danny took a shower and went to bed. After seemingly to have slept for a few hours, Danny woke up suddenly. After lying in bed for a few minutes, trying to go back to sleep, Danny decided to try an old trick that his mom used; warm milk. So, Danny paddled barefoot to the kitchen and got warm milk. However, he had a taste of the milk and spit it out.

"I guess you don't like it," said a voice.

Danny felt shock come to his soul, paralyzing him. He almost dropped his glass and turned to find out the person behind the voice. He felt his heart skip a beat as he saw the person before him.

"Dad?" he whispered.

Larry smiled and walked toward his son, wearing a white suit with a glow around him. It was the first time Danny ever thought of his father as beautiful.

"Yes, Danny, it's me," he said, with a smile.

Danny felt tears come to his eyes as he saw his father. "Dad, I can't believe you're here," he said.

"Believe it, son," he said, calmly. "I'm here."

Feeling a tear come down his cheek, he breathed, "I can't believe it. I know I have said it a billion times but I can't believe you're here. Why are you here?"

"Well, I came to tell you that you were wrong," he said.

Danny looked at him and said, "Wrong about what?"

"Wrong about being a bad son," he said.

Danny felt his stomach drop. He said, "I was?"

Larry smiled and said, "Yes, Danny, you were a wonderful son. You are a wonderful son."

Danny felt his heart touched. "Really?" he asked.

Larry smiled warmly and said, "Yes, son. You have given me more than I ever given you."

"Like what?" he asked, eagerly.

"Like a purpose, a reason to keep living," Larry explained. He walked closer to Danny and said, "Danny, when I lost your mother, I thought it was the end of the world, I thought my life was over. I thought there is no reason to continue living…then, I saw you, this sweet, innocent little boy, who needed me, who needed his daddy. And so, as difficult as it was, I pushed forward. And I became the father. And I became the mother. And the guardian and protector and the confidante and the friend you needed. Granted I wasn't the best at all those things. Sometimes I thought I was the worst at everything."

Tears forming in his eyes, Danny insisted, "No, you weren't. You were great."

"I know," he said, smiling. He seemed very certain.

"How?"

Larry smiled and said, "You mother told me."

Danny looked surprised. His heart skipping a beat. He said, "You saw Mom?" He asked in amazement.

Larry smiled proudly. "I have."

Danny was curious. "How is she? What does she look like?"

"She's fine," Larry replied, smiling brightly for the first time in years. "She's wonderful. She's every bit as beautiful as she was when she was alive."

Danny smiled but tears went down. He was happy that his dad was finally with his mother but deep inside his heart, Danny longed to see his mother again…even if for only a minute.

As if Larry could read his son's mind, he said, "You want to see her."

Through his tears, Danny said, "More than anything in the world, Dad. I just want to see my mother again. I want to thank her for everything she gave me when she was alive and after she died, the love, the lullabies, the stories, and the letter. I would give everything I have just to see her, even for a minute."

Danny looked down and let the tears fall. Suddenly, he heard another voice. It was so beautiful, so gentle. It was a voice he knew well.

_I've had my share,  
Of life's ups and downs,  
but fates been kind,  
the downs have been few,  
I guess you could say,  
I've been lucky,  
Or I guess you could say,  
That it's all because of you._

If anyone, should ever write, my life story,  
for whatever reason there might be,  
you'd be there,  
between each line of pain and glory,  
cos your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
Oh your the best thing that ever happened to me.

There have been times,  
when times were hard,  
but always somehow I made it, I made it through,  
But for every moment that I've been hurtin',  
there's been a moment, that I've spent...  
Oh just loving you,

If anyone should ever write my life story,  
for whatever, for whatever reason there might be,  
you'd be there, between each line of pain and glory,  
Cos your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
Oh your the best thing that ever happened to me,  
don't you know, your the best thing...  
Oh that ever happened,  
to me.

**_  
_**As if by sheer magic, appeared his mother. Danny felt his heart literally skip a beat as his eyes came upon his mom. She looked wonderful, just the same as she did on when she was alive. In fact, she looked the same. Her long brown hair was loose, with delicate ringlets falling on her shoulders. Her brown eyes were sparkling and she was wearing a shimmering white dress.

Feeling tears come to his eyes, Danny said, "Mom, I, I, can't believe it's you. I can't believe that after all this time, you're here with me."

Danny just stood there and took in the sight of his mother, looking so sweet and beautiful, like an angel, his angel.

"Daniel," she said, proudly. "Oh, my sweet little boy. I've missed you so much."

"So have I," he said, a tear coming down. "Man, there are so many things I want to tell you. SO much I have to say."

"I know you do, sweetie," she said, warmly. "But I've seen everything you've done. Everything. High school graduation, your job at the Montecito, when you went to war. I've seen everything."

Danny smiled as he said, "I'm not surprised. I've always felt you with me." His voice wobbled when he said that.

Leigh Anne smiled warmly at her son. "You read the letter."

Danny nodded and said, "Yes, I did. It was beautiful, Mom." His eyes formed with tears and he startled to continue. "But I wasn't surprised. Everything you did in your life was beautiful. Reading the letter and reading all the things that you went through, sickness, raising a little boy and fighting cancer, you handled it with such grace and strength. I guess that's why I have overcome things in my life, because I had your strength and your grace…. buried deep down in my heart."

Leigh Anne walked closer to her son and tenderly, stroked his face, marveling at the handsome young man he had grown into.

"And you became a good young man," she said. "And you turned into a strong young man who has lived a good life; the kind of life that I wanted you to have, the kind of life I wrote you."

Danny took a good look at his mother. It amazed him that, after all this time, after all these years, the love that Danny felt from his mother was so real, just like it was when she was alive. That's when it hit Danny; made it all the more clear to him, the realization that after a person is gone from this world that his or her love is still real and strong and can go on forever. Danny also realized why he was the man he was, because of his mother. And it began to hit him even stronger; the gratitude he had inside him, he was grateful that his dad had married such a wonderful lady, grateful that his mom was the sweet person she was, grateful that she maintained that sweetness, despite all the pain and suffering she felt….most of all, Danny was grateful that his dad had kept a little bit of that sweetness in him, because he still loved Leigh Anne so very much.

Taking that gratitude, Danny looked at his mom with all the love he had in his heart and said, "Mom, thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful, beautiful mother. Thank you for having me." Tears were now coming down Danny's face and he struggled to keep going. "Thank you for loving me, even though you had every right to stop loving. And thank you for still having that love for me and giving me that love even after you died." Tears coming down harder then ever, he looked at her and said, "Thank you, Mommy." "Mommy", he hadn't said those words in years, not since he had a nightmare about his mom after she died. "Mommy."

Leigh Anne walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Danny felt the warmth of his mother's embrace. It felt just the same as it did when he was a little boy. Danny held his mother tighter with the same desperation he had as a child. It seems that a son always needs his mom. Danny just felt the love from his mom and hugged her. After a few minutes, Danny and his mom let go.

Leigh Anne smiled and said, "You're welcome, Danny. " She then kissed his forehead and walked away. But before she left, she looked at him and said, "I love you, Daniel. And I always will."

Danny melted and breathed in a quiet voice, "I love you too, Mommy."

Danny watched through tear-filled eyes as his mom was taken in a wisp of wind. He extended his hand to the wind….and saw his dad come to him.

Larry looked at him and said, "Danny, I hope you know why I never got over your mother. I could never find another woman that had that love and gentleness. That hunger for life and love and children. That love that saw the good in everything and everyone. A peace that she had even though everything around her was crumbling. And the strength to send that peace and love. She had it all."

Wiping his tears, Danny said, "I know that now more than ever, Dad. And I know that she gave you some of that because you kept on loving me. You loved me so much and gave me such love and hope. Hope that I can be a good man without a mother present. Hope that I can handle whatever pain I face. Hope that I can love a woman as amazing and beautiful as Mom. And that's because of you."

Larry smiled warmly and said, "And who I am, is because of you, son. I love you, Danny."

Feeling his heart melt, Danny smiled and said, tears coming down, "I love you, Dad."

Larry walked forward and wrapped his arms around his son. Danny felt the embrace of his father, all the love and hurt they had felt for years had come to this moment, the moment of them finally putting away their past. Larry released Danny from his hug after a while.

"Promise me one thing, Danny," he said.

Danny wiped his tears and said, "Yeah, Dad, anything."

"No matter what happens in your life, always keep your mother and me in the back of your mind," he said.

"I'll do better than that, I'll keep you both in here- "he pointed to his heart.

Larry smiled and said, "That is better, Daniel Michael."

Danny was shocked and said, "'Daniel', you haven't called me that in such a long time."

"You'll always be Daniel," Larry said. He turned and walked away.

Danny stood there, tears rolling down his cheeks. He then walked away and went to bed. He felt grateful for this presence, grateful for his parents, grateful that they were always there for him, in life and in death.

THE END


End file.
